I love being a mom. Adore it. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced and it is the most magnificent thing. I remember asking my friend Rebecca right after I had EA- why didn't you tell me it was this good??
But something came with it that has the potential to be equally as life shaking- comparison. For me, it started during pregnancy- why do some people get pregnant so fast while others take so long? Why does their baby move more than our baby?- and progressed right on into her little life- Why can some people bfeed and I can't? Is my daughter's life going to somehow be less because I physically could not give her the milk she needed? How much does she weigh? How tall is she? Is she sitting/ rolling over/ crawling/ creeping/ walking/ talking?
And anytime the answer is no, I obsess over it. Why isn't she doing these things? and often times- What I am doing wrong?
This ugly thing called comparison can eat away all of the joy that being a mom can give- it makes me see my precious, wonderful daughter as not enough. I HATE IT.
What it comes to is simple- pride. Greedy, ugly pride.
And what Satan wants me to think is that it's okay. It's normal.
The thing is, just because other mom's or just other people in general deal with it, doesn't mean it's okay. My daughter is never going to be just like someone else's daughter, just like my pregnancies will never be like anyone else's. God has a story that is perfect for us- it will not always have "happy endings" or always be easy, but it is perfect because God knows every step of it. Every time I start comparing, I am telling God that I am not happy with the incredible blessing He has given me- that I expected more, better, different. Where what I really got was the most amazing gift I have ever received.
EA will develop all of the skills that she is supposed to in her own time- and I don't want her to develop them in any other way- she is unique and special. That's one of the things that I love so much about her.
Praise Jesus that He made her exactly like she is.
Because that's exactly how she should be.
*Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you.*